A New Year

Well another couple of months have went by and I have yet to really make a true effort in my weight loss. I have spent the last few months in a bit of a frenzy because I haven't been able to find a job. I finally (after four interviews) was offered the position at Kaplan. I start on January 12th. Finally getting things in order made me stop and really think about why weight loss is so imperative. I want so many things out of life and continuing to be unhealthy is not going to get any of them for me. The reasons just seem to be mounting and yet still I haven't been able to make the changes I know I desperately need to make. We are currently in Michigan visiting for Christmas, but I have put some plans in place for when we return home. On Monday, I'm going to our local gym to sign up for a membership there. I have a new reward system, which I will type up below and I am really ready to continue my weight loss journey. I have so many reasons and 30 is approaching so fast. I will be in Florida in a little less than two months where I'll be walking approximately 9 miles a day for 6 straight days. We will be starting to try for a baby once we get home from that and with my current weight and just the way my body feels pregnancy will be difficult, if not impossible. I know that we probably won't get pregnant right away or anything, so I'll still have time to work on weight loss. I want to be as healthy as possible during my pregnancy so there's no reason not to start that now. I have never been able to stick with anything before, but I'm starting to grasp the concept of time and I think that is giving me the kick I needed. This new reward system is pretty great too.

I am going to do a "star chart." I purchased a black poster board, some markers and some star stickers and I made a list of all of the things I can do to earn a star. Then I made a list of rewards I can get when I reach x number of stars (it's basically a reward for every 100 stars I earn). I have the potential to earn about 27 stars a week, which means I can get a reward about every month (IF I stick to the program). I didn't want to make the rewards about the pounds I lost, but instead I wanted to focus on making healthier choices. I did throw in that I'll get a star for every 5 pounds I lose though. So here is my new plan and we will see how things work:)

My Healthy Choices Reward System

1 star for a 30+ minute workout

1 star for working out 4+ times in one week

1 star for walking outside in temperatures below 20 or above 80

2 stars for drinking 64 ounces of water or more per day

1 star for tracking my daily calories and staying at or below my limit

1 star for every 5 pounds lost

Harry Potter Candle when I reach 100 stars

$20 Lush Purchase when I reach 200 stars

Pedicure when I reach 300 stars

Massage when I reach 400 stars

Facial when I reach 500 stars

$75 Makeup purchase from Ulta/Sephora/Mac when I reach 600 stars

Tattoo when I reach 700 stars

I know I have said it before, but things feel different this time. I feel as though I'm going to make this happen. The things I really want in life seem to be hinging on me getting healthy and I am starting to run out of time. The good thing about this system is that I can still keep to it if I do get pregnant (obviously I would take out some of the star earning choices, like the star for weight loss and the walking outside), but its great to know I don't have to just stop doing it if I get pregnant. Well I hope everyone has a wonderful day! :) 

xoxo, 

Melissa

The Why

I have spent the majority of this evening crying. I was texting Matt for a while and the basic overview is that I'm so tired of saying and not doing. I have lost all determination and motivation. I have forgotten the WHY behind the weight loss and have been drowning my depression in chocolate, cheese, and soda. I have pasted below, a portion of the blog I wrote on April 23rd of this year to remind myself of the WHY and help with my DECISION to become DETERMINED again. 

When I was on my last vacation I did not take one photograph of myself, I was uncomfortable on every ride I went on, and there were things I couldn't do simply because of my weight. My weight makes me self-conscious, unhappy, and causes me to miss out on so many things in life. I want a baby. I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs without feeling like my lungs have collapsed. I am doing this so I will be able to enjoy life. 

Here are a list of my most compelling reasons and motivations: 

•A baby•I want my kids to be healthy, and I want to be a good role model•A better sex life•Going to HP World and Disney in February 2015•Be able to walk around at Disney and Universal and walk around without DYING!•Feeling better about myself/ Not being so self conscious•Enjoy the moments I have with my friends, instead of worrying about how fat I look in the pictures they are taking•Being able to keep up with everyone else

I am going to make a "Vision Board" and make it my computer background. I plan to use it to remind myself everyday WHY I am doing this.

[Pause]

Okay, created. See below. There will be a change in me. I am determined to become the person I want to be. It starts now. I will never see this weight again, I will never feel this way again, and I will be happy with who I am.

Photos in order from top to bottom, left to right: 1. Runsforcookies went from a size 24W (where I was not too long ago) to a size 4. 2. The seats at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter's Forbidden Journey. I could BARELY fit when we went on our honeymoon and I was 25 lbs lighter then. I don't have a clue how I'd get on them now... and those were the outer seats made for big people. 3. A map of Disney World... Going to be walking all of that in less than four months. 4. A map of Universal... walking all of that in less than four months too. 5. Matt and I at my Graduation. I hate how HUGE I feel, but worse than that is how UNCOMFORTABLE I was taking the picture. This was such a monumental occasion for me and I should have been so happy to take pictures, but because of my weight I just dread them. 6. Me at the start of this journey. 7. A candid shot of me at graduation. Even worse. I cringe when I look at it. 7. Runsforcookies before and after (she lost 125 pounds) 8. Skinny Jean Dreams before and after (she lost over 100 pounds). 9. A baby. At my weight, I don't think it's smart to get pregnant (if I'm even able) and I also know that it will definitely exacerbate my back condition. 10. This one is two-fold. The first and most important is that this is my husband and I on our wedding day. I love him with all of my heart and he is one of the main reasons I want (us both) to get healthy. I want to have a long, wonderful life with this man and I know if I stay on the course I've been on, I won't have one. Also, this is one of the only good pictures from our wedding. I actually don't have many pictures with him at all and we have been together for over seven years. One day, when I feel comfortable enough with myself to get photos taken, I want to ask my friend Jessica to take some professional pictures of the two of us. I would like to have some photos that I enjoy looking at instead of cringing away from.

There was one more pic that I didn't put on here because I wasn't able to find it, but the story behind the picture is that I was out with a group of friends who wanted a photo taken of us, so, of course, I obliged. When they texted me the picture afterwords, I thought I was going to die. I looked HUGE. I hate that. I want to enjoy the pictures that are taken with my friends. I want to capture those memories. I want to be able to look back on them and be happy.

I blogged all of this to say: Things will be different moving forward. I will be different. I am ready. So "Hold on to your butts" because here we go (that, my friends, would be a quote from Jurassic Park).

Xoxo,



Missy

The big move

I know that it has been a few months since I have written anything, but life has honestly been quite crazy. Matt got a promotion/transfer for work and we moved to Wisconsin. I quit my job (which was possibly the hardest part) and I still don't have another one. Matt left the last week of September and I came out to join him on October 18th. It's been almost two weeks, my house is still in shambles and like I said, no job, which makes me super concerned on the money front.

There are a few great things about the move. Matthew LOVES his new job (though he's still in the learning phase so he's not super confident). He gets along with almost all of the guys he works with and he's moving around, which is good for his health. We also are in our own place, which is wonderful. Once it's organized and in order, I know we'll enjoy it even more. Its actually really nice here, everyone is friendly and there are lots of fun places to explore. The biggest news is that we got a puppy! :)

His name is Bentley and he is 6 weeks old :) He's absolutely adorable. It is, of course, like having a baby because he wakes me up every few hours to go outside (though I am incredibly thankful that he doesn't just go to the bathroom in his crate!) It is hard to adjust to, but since I'm not working right now, its working out okay.

Then, of course, there are the downsides of being here. I miss my family and friends, I miss my job, and I am a bit concerned about the lack of income (Matt's raise was good, but it does not cover my salary, of course). I was also doing really great working out with Ashley and everything, but I have completely fallen off the wagon since I've been here. I haven't worked out once and I have been eating like garbage. I think that once this weekend is over and the house is all set up and we have everything organized, everything else will start to fall into place. At least that is the hope anyway. 

This Sunday is Matthew's birthday. I ordered him Forza Horizon 2 for Xbox and NHL 15 and MLB 14 for PS3.  I really hope he likes them. They are going to be at the store for pickup tomorrow so I'm going to get up early, put on the chicken noodle soup and drive out to Onalaska to pick them up.

I am really excited for tomorrow, it's Halloween! :) I'm going to make homemade chicken noodle soup, watch the Halloween Tree, give out candy to some adorable Trick-or-Treaters, and then make some cookies. I guess if I'm planning to do all of that I should get to bed as it's 12:30am. I'll write again soon.

Xoxo,


Mel

My return

I know it's been a while since I've posted. I have been completely out of sorts as of late. While I've been working out with my personal trainer twice a week my diet has been utter shit. I've been depressed and I haven't been motivated OR determined to do anything other than try and gather myself up just to get through the day to day. I don't know if it was my cousin's death that tipped my depression over the edge or if it was just something that has been waiting in the wings for a while. What I do know is that I'm tired of letting it control my life. I have goals, I have ambition, and I am going to gather myself up this last time and I am going to forge ahead. I am not going to give these excuses or thoughts another second of my time. I'm sick of wallowing in them and doing nothing to find my way out of it. I know what I want out of life, I am a hard and dedicated worker so it is time to go and get it. All of it. Starting today.

Moving forward....

It really has been a rough couple of weeks. I can't seem to get back on track since Timmy's death, even though Matthew and I have made a few family decisions that should really have propelled me on my way, but they haven't. I've been struggling with everything in life coming at me at once and I can't seem to get a handle on it.

Matthew and I decided we would start trying for a baby in March when we get home from vacation. By then I need to be down at least another 70 pounds. That means I really need to refocus and get on this. I think I was making a few unrealistic goals with working out, but I'm going to take it down to three to four times per week. This way I don't beat myself up because I missed a workout, but I'm still going to put in a lot of work to make it happen. Once I have a full set of workouts (Shoulders and back, biceps and Triceps, legs, and core) I'll be able to schedule my workouts in a way to get everything in.

I'm really excited for this next step in our lives and the next few months are really going to show the commitment I have towards having a happy and healthy family. 

<3 Mel

Binge

I worked hard all day yesterday to stay within my calorie budget, but when I got home last night a food binge hit like I haven't had in months and I ate so much. It was just like I couldn't stop. After dinner I had cereal, a banana, cheetos, popcorn, a fruit by the foot, and I just couldn't stop myself. I am so disappointed because I knew at the time I needed to stop, but I just couldn't. It has been a long time since I was that powerless against eating. Even though I knew I needed to stop, I just couldn't make myself. It seems like every time I get on the right track in my brain, something happens that I freak out and I binge or don't workout and ruin it.


BUT, today is a new day. I am focused and I am ready. I have another chance to make the right choices and I have every intention to do so. I am going to become the person I want to be in ever area of my life. I am my focus and I am worth it. Even though I have set backs, they will not define me. My determination defines me, my heart defines me, I define me. I'm letting yesterday stay in the past where it belongs and I am looking ahead to a brighter and better future, which is dependent on my today.


Sorry today is so philosophical, I'm just trying to come to grips with my mistakes, forgive myself, and move on. Tomorrow I will write of success.



Mel

Change and Triumph

I believe the weight gain must have been due to elevated sodium or something, because as of today, July 17, 2014, I have lost 30.5 lbs. total, 10 % of my body weight!! :) I'm proud of myself. I have worked hard to get here and I plan to continue. I am going to be in the LOW 250's before my birthday next month. This was really just what I needed to get back on track, to see the progress.


I'm excited to see what happens when life calms down and my focus becomes weight loss and studying for the LSATs. Things have been too crazy for me to be able to make those things a priority, but now that life is getting back to somewhat normal I am going to put my focus on them.


My workout routine will be three runs per week and three times at the gym per week. I will be studying for the LSATs 5 days per week (totaling just over 19 hours). I am going to spend the rest of this summer working hard for the things I want. Not just the summer, my life. If anyone could ever say they hold the characteristics of Hermione Granger, it is me. I am a gunner. I am smart, hard working, and dedicated to the things I believe in. I will work to near exhaustion to get the things I want out of life. I am ready to commit to them in a way I haven't before. I have a fire in me that is ready to consume everything in my path.


I am taking the weekend to recharge. To remember that I am more like Hermione Granger than anyone I've ever known. Then, I am going to attack this weight loss and the LSATs with a veracity like no one has seen. I'm ready to do this.



Mel

Disappointment

It is hard when you make a vow and break it within the first week. My cousin Timmy, a young man of 33 years old passed away this last week. He and I grew up like siblings and this has been a difficult week to say the least. I have had a heavy heart and it has made my weight loss and gym time take a firm back seat. I gained almost 6 pounds in less than a week. I had Starbucks two and three times a day. I did not care about anything because grief had a firm grasp on my life. I am back to 274.9 pounds.

I spent today trying to stay within my calorie budget, but I had Starbucks at breakfast and because we haven't grocery shopped I ate out for lunch and plan to do the same for dinner. I won't make it to the gym this evening, since I'll be at the grocery store, but I'm hoping to get back at it on Thursday. It is hard because my aunt is back up to visit and staying at our house (because of the funeral).

I know that I have to do this for me. It's just hard to put it into perspective when I'm so broken hearted about all of this. All I really want to do is curl up under my covers and watch Harry Potter and sleep. Maybe I'll get to do that for a while tonight. Just stick in my headphones and watch it on my computer. I think it might be relaxing. I have had a very stressful day at work, which followed a very stressful few days off. I know that life is stressful. I understand that there are hard times, but why does it seem that I get it heaped on top of me, one thing after the other, and there is no reprieve? I just need a good month that is completely problem free!!

I hope that happens soon. I'm very overwhelmed at the moment. :(

Work at it

I had my very first personal training session with Ashley last night and boy did she kick my ass! I am SO sore today (and I'm sure I'll be even worse tomorrow!)! There were so many times that I just wanted to give up but I just kept telling myself I am going to do this, I am going to become thin and fit and I pushed through. Ashley was awesome too, she was such a good cheerleader and she really made me feel like I was crushing it. There are just so many reasons I'm doing this and putting in this work, and I HAVE to keep them in my mind, because it is so easy to just say screw it and go back to the way things were.

I am firmly in the 260's now, I weighed in at 268.5 today and I vow not to see the 270's again in my life. I'm going to bust my ass this month because on July 31st I need to be 258.0 and that's 10.5 lbs. in about 3 weeks. I know it's do-able because I'm adding in a SERIOUS workout routine, but I need to make sure I'm on-point with my calories and that I'm working hard to not go over them.

Sustainability has been kind of a hot topic the last few days in the blog world. Not so much of will I be able to maintain the weight once I lose it, but more of will I be able to sustain the way of life I've adapted in order to lose the weight. I think that working out 6 times a week might be a little overkill in the long run, with law school and a full time job, then with a baby (or two) and a serious career, but I'd like to try to make it work. I mean, I want to be fit and active and healthy and I want to make that a priority. I may have to work out longer for less days or shorter for more days to make it work, but I think it is possible. I also haven't really given up on any of the foods I love, I just monitor what it is I eat.

Well that's it for now...

Mel

Another Loss

I weighed in this morning and I lost another pound and a half, bringing me to a total of 28.5 pounds lost. I stuck to my calorie intake on MFP yesterday even though I wanted to eat over. I’m starting my workout regimen today, so I am excited to see what results this new sense of dedication and renewed commitment bring me. I’m proud of myself and I will only work harder from here. I am finally in the 260’s after YEARS of not seeing those numbers on the scale, but I’m NEVER going to see the 270’s again! I’m so excited for what’s coming! Okay off to study for the LSATs. :) 

Reasons for these changes

I don’t take very many of me and my husband because of my weight, but living a long wonderful life with him is my reason number one. The next reason is that we want a baby, but at my current weight, it’s not a possibility. Plus, I want to be a healthy mom and raise my kids to be healthy so they never experience these struggles. The next reason I’m doing this is that I’m planning a trip to Harry Potter World and Universal/Disney in February of next year and I want to be in shape so that by end of day one I’m not dead (because we are going for 10 days). Another reason for me is that my hubby and I are renewing our vows next year for our five year anniversary because we were married in Vegas and so many of our loved ones couldn’t make it. Plus our photographer had a last minute family emergency and so we have NO pictures of our wedding except a quick snap shot of the two of us on the top of the Stratosphere. Another reason is that a picture of me with a big group of my friends is so rare. I hate the way I look in photos and how self conscious I am to get my picture taken. I want to lose weight so that I can actually enjoy moments with my friends and capture them without only being worried that I look so big in all of the pics that I’ll just want to delete them later. My final reason is probably one of the most important. I am doing this for me. I want to be healthy and live a long happy life. I want to be a role model and inspiration to all the others who think (like I have for a long time) that they can’t do it. I want to prove that they can, that I can. Because I’ve always been able to conquer anything that I have put my mind to, except losing weight and that should be NO different. I have started my journey and don’t plan to stop until I reach goal, setbacks be dammed!

Difficult

So I've "fallen off the wagon" the last week and a half. With everything that has been going on (moving, finals, graduation, my graduation party) I've been eating shitty and I've not exercised at all. I haven't even been wearing my Fitbit. I'm at 273.9 though, so I'm still doing okay with the weight loss. I have started back on myfitnesspal, with tracking my food (as of yesterday), and I plan to workout daily starting this evening.

I really hope to get it together and start getting active again. I want to be fit and healthy. That's one of my major goals in life. I want to enjoy food, but I want it to be a healthy relationship, not one that debilitates me. Well I'm slammed with things I've gotta get done, so this is a short one...


Melissa

Falling down and getting up again

This has been a rough week to put it mildly. We have been moving and I just haven't had time to work out or prep food. I weighed myself this morning and it said 275.2 lbs. That is NOT where I wanted to be right now. I'm going to bust my ass for the rest of this week. I know there is a SERIOUS cheat day coming the day of my grad party, but I worked hard for YEARS to finally get a degree and so I'm not super concerned about it. I listed all of the food I'm going to eat and it is 570 calories over my daily allowance. I know that's a lot and it's a lot to be PLANNED, but my goal for that day is to eat what is on myfitnesspal and NOTHING extra. I've allowed for a bit of everything that I want to eat, so I'm not going to be deprived, but I'm not going to sit and munch on chips or whatever.

I think that the 21 day fix diet plan was a little overwhelming for me. I felt too free if that makes sense. It wasn't strict tracking so I found myself not tracking at all. I really think myfitnesspal works best for me, but the workouts on the 21 day fix are for sure killer and I plan to keep those up. I'm going to do my own thing for the diet though, at least I'm going to be tracking calorie intake on myfitnesspal.
I'm kind of bummed about where I am right now, I was doing so good for a couple months and I feel like I've stalled. I really want to be at my goal weight by my 29th birthday. I know its a journey, but

I'm going to start doing my weigh-ins on Wednesdays. "Wednesday Weigh-ins" and I'm going to keep an Excel Spreadsheet of them. Then I can look back and see exactly what's going on with my weight. I think I might do measurements too (since I got an electronic tape measure). Tomorrow will be the first day of doing that. I hope this will get me back on track and I can be in the 260's before Graduation!!

Well I only have two more weeks of insanity, and then maybe life will calm down for a bit. Hopefully.

Melissa

Exciting times

I am on day two of the 21 day fix and I am SORE as HELL. I am excited though because as of this morning I was already down another pound. That's a POUND in ONE DAY. Sorry for all the caps, but it is SUPER exciting. I am hoping the momentum I have right now continues. I don't really feel more energetic, but I'm hoping that kicks in soon.

I am just in such a good place emotionally right now. I have so many good things coming up that it's going to make the next year or two of life just fly right by. Here's the big events coming up over the next year and a half:

June 8th - Graduation Party
June 14th - Graduation
August 16th - Glow in the Park 5k
September 6th - Harry Potter Birthday Party
September 13th - Mudderella
December 6th - Law School Admissions Test
February 21st - Vacation!! (HARRY POTTER WORLD)
May 4th - First day of Law School
October 3rd - Vow Renewal :)

If that's not motivation, I don't know what is. I am excited to get healthy and REALLY enjoy this time in my life. :) I expect to be around 235 pounds at my Harry Potter Party and I plan to be at my goal weight before my NEXT birthday :)

Well I guess that's in for now, I should probably get back to work and maybe I'll have some time to complete my unfinished homework assignment (I'm trying to graduate afterall lol).

Melissa

Pep Talks

Though I'm 22.9 pounds down, I feel like the last week I've fell off plan a bit. I have been eating shitty and making excuses about not going to the gym and working out. I have (mostly) stayed in my calorie goals, but I definitely think I can do better than I have been. I am hoping that Shakeology and the 21 Day Fix is a fresh start for me and that I can hop back on the band wagon of weight loss and keep heading toward my goal. I am going to be working out at least once a day, but still going to the gym to run three times a week and do yoga.

--------------------------------------------------

So I started this blog on Sunday night and kinda paused for a bit to work on my 21 Day Fix meal plan. This morning I weighed in for the week and I have gained one pound. This is my first gain since I started this journey and I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in myself. I'm glad it was only one pound, but I want to see the numbers go down, not up. I have a long way to go to be gaining ALREADY. I have to say though, seeing the gain made me even more focused. There are so many reasons I am doing this. I have a real PLAN now. I can't let me stand in my way.

I am committed to this lifestyle. There are times when it's really difficult to stick with it and I just give in (cue this weekend), but that's when I need days like today to really pause, refocus and prepare myself. There are great things in store for my future and I am the kind of person who goes after what I want. There is no reason I can't lose the weight.

I realize this blog is a bit more of a pep talk than anything else, but that's okay. If that's what I need to get going, then that is what I give myself. I am going to kick ass at this weight loss and people will see that ANYONE can lose weight, because I never thought I could. Hell, I never thought I'd see the 270's again, and here I am, 21.9 pounds lighter than I was in March.

Well I need to make my shopping list for the week :) I will check in a bit more to update my progress from here. :)



Melissa

Progress

Well I am down to 276.5 pounds. That's a total of 21.5 pounds lost in a little more than a month and a half. I haven't really had any DRIVE this week. Not for the gym, not for class, not really for anything. I have like negative energy. I talked to my friend Monica this week and she just recently started using "Shakeology." She told me how she's lost weight, gained muscle and she has really had such an increase in her energy it's been unreal. I decided to try it. It was $175 for the "21-Day Fix" challenge program, and I purchased it today. The tagline states you can lose up to 15 pounds during the challenge. I hope that it gives me both the inspiration and motivation to get back at it. My main concern is that it will actually work for me, but I won't be able to afford to continue it once the first month is done. I hope I can figure something out to make it work.

I have been pretty good at tracking all of my calories and monitoring other things like sodium, sugar, carbs and fats, but I haven't been to the gym in almost a week. I can't keep that up. I want to get healthy and that doesn't mean JUST losing weight. I want to be active and strong. I have to commit to making it to the gym and working on my Couch 2 5k program. I am also going to be doing the workouts that come with the challenge for the next 21 days. After that's done I may go back to training for Mudderella.

I hope to post some update pics this weekend (Maybe Monday? as I'm hoping to hit my first major goal of 275 pounds). But for now I have a Cert of Trust to draft for work and a Motion to Compel to draft for class.

Melissa

Stay-cation

This week Matt and I were supposed to go to Tennessee for a little vacation, but instead we gave my dad some money to pay off bills and we are taking a little "Stay-cation" (meaning we are off work for the week, but we aren't really going anywhere). I am actually getting my injections done tomorrow, which puts a little damper on the week of fun, but that's okay.

I haven't worked out as much as I'd have liked this week, and I haven't eaten that well either. I still went to Yoga last night and on Sunday, Matt and I bought bikes and went on a six and a half mile bike ride. Monday I didn't workout at all. I am hoping to get back on track today. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and am planning on Subway for lunch. Not grocery shopping makes it incredibly more difficult to eat healthy. I am hoping to finish my homework by 3 or so, so I have time to get a workout in before class tonight. I have quite a lot to do and I can't seem to get motivated to do it (I've been awake for four hours and I have finished one of my assignments).

I guess I should make this a short post since I have so much to do. I just wanted to check-in and give a bit of an update. Oh yeah, at weigh-in on Monday my goal was just to see the 270's, so I was HOPING for 289.9 even, and when I weighed-in I was at 278.9! That means I am down a TOTAL of 19.1 pounds!!! Just 5.9 pounds shy of my first goal of 275 and just 10.7 pounds shy of losing 10%!! :) They say the first 10% shows an impact on cholesterol, blood pressure, the risk of diabetes, sleep apnea and swelling. :)

Proud of... Me?

It's weird to feel this proud of myself. I have been busting my ass to workout and eat healthy. I  might be losing weight slower than I'd like to be, and running at a pace that is walking for some, but I AM doing it. I AM losing weight. I AM going to the gym. I AM getting healthier. I am going to be able to carry my baby for 9 months. I'm going to be able to walk around Disney and Universal next February and not need an ECV. I am going to start enjoying my life.

Tuesday night I went to yoga for the first time. I can't believe how much I enjoyed it. It was challenging and two days later I can definitely feel it, but I loved every sweat filled minute and plan top make it part of my weekly routine.

I also agreed to join my friend Ashlee in doing Mudderella this September. It looks very intense, and offers it's own training program to prep for it. I am going to start that this week as well. There are a ton of obstacles and a bit of running so I plan to keep up my 5k training too.

So my training is going to include Couch 2 5k training, the Mudderella workouts, and yoga on Tuesdays :) I have a whole typed up plan which I haven't followed this week very well, but I am working on it.

I really want to run a 5k before Mudderella, so I'm looking for one to run in August. Here is my schedule of upcoming events I would like to participate in:

August: Glow in the Park
September: Mudderella
October: Wicked Halloween Run (Plymouth, MI) 10/26
November: Turkey Trot (Detroit, MI) Thanksgiving Day


We'll see how this goes. :) I'm just happy that this is my new focus. I'm sure Matt loves how much money I've been spending... Please read the sarcasm here...

Mel

Couch to 5k - Day One

So I only made it 16 minutes into Day One before I called it quits. I then walked another .25 of a mile and went back to my apartment. I am literally dripping sweat and in desperate need of a shower. I may not have finished but I'm proud of myself. I went further than I thought I could and WAY further than I thought I would. I think this is a great stepping stone. I know its going to take time and I don't want to over exert myself.

I'm posting pics for comparison. Heads up, avert thine eyes. This pic was taken today at 283.1 pounds. I have none from 298, but that's probably for the best...

With my fingers crossed, my hard work, and my new found determination, I will NEVER see 283.1 again.

Reasons and Rewards

When I was on my last vacation I did not take one photograph of myself, I was uncomfortable on every ride I went on, and there were things I couldn't do simply because of my weight. My weight makes me self-conscious, unhappy, and causes me to miss out on so many things in life. I want a baby. I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs without feeling like my lungs have collapsed. I am doing this so I will be able to enjoy life. 

Here are a list of my most compelling reasons and motivations:
•A baby
•I want my kids to be healthy, and I want to be a good role model
•A better sex life
•Going to HP World and Disney in February 2015
•Be able to walk around at Disney and Universal and walk around without DYING!
•Feeling better about myself/ Not being so self conscious
•Enjoy the moments I have with my friends, instead of worrying about how fat I look in the pictures they are taking
•Being able to keep up with everyone else




And here are the rewards I plan on giving myself at KEY weight losses:

I'm starting off with new workout clothes, shoes, and gear ($250)

275 – Elemental Nature Nail Package ($70) (only 8.5 pounds till this goal!!)

238 - Elemental Nature Massage. This is the halfway point to "Onederland" so it's a big deal! ($105)

199 – Caribbean Therapy Package from Sakora Spa (Massage, Facial, Manicure and Pedicure) ($180)

150 – Photo Shoot with Jessica!! New wardrobe at goal!!! ($250)


Motivated and Determined. Minor setbacks like my fitbit not recording and my weight not going down after the gym wont get me down. Not this time.

A little Disappointed

I'm bummed because I weighed myself this morning and after two days of working out (one walk at lunch and one gym session) I weigh the same as I did two days ago. Since I didn't lose anything at this "weigh-in" I'm going to try to go back to ONLY weighing myself on Mondays. I can't quite figure out what I did wrong or what caused me to not lose, I can only think it's because I went over the 1570 calories I'm allotted (though fitness pal said I could because I'd exercised). I'm going to try and stay under the budget number from now on because I think that is the issue. I'm not really sure.
:(

On another note -- I guess you have to wear the fitbit pretty snug because I went to the gym and worked my ass off for an hour and a half yesterday and when I got back in my car and updated it, it didn't even log ONE STEP. Of course, it also didn't log any active minutes or that I burned any calories either. It was just a bummer, and topped by the fact the scale didn't show it this morning either, doesn't make me WANT to go to the gym, that's for sure. :( I'm just going to power through it and pretend yesterday was a practice run and that I built some muscle lol. I'm going to go back this Thursday with Matt and I'll see what it's like then.

Guess I'd better go. I have to get to work so I can write a complaint and read 50 pages at some point before 6 today and I have Cognitive Therapy at lunch :( Wow can I not wait for graduation!

A new me, a new attitude

I feel so good about the choices I've been making these last few weeks. I know that if fueled by the numbers that have been dropping on the scale. I wish that I could see the changes I know are happening, but that part will come. I'm proud of myself. I know that 133.1 seems like quite a lot of weight to lose, but if you consider that in the last three weeks I have lost 15 pounds (Without exercise), it doesn't seem that bad. I mean I was at 148 to go when I started. The closer I get to the 125 mark, the more attainable it seems to feel. 

I went for a walk at lunch yesterday, and today after work (and physical therapy) I am going to the gym with my momma. I plan to hit the gym on Thursday too. I'm trying to amp up to go three to four times a week. I want to start out slowly and build. I have never felt so driven for weight loss before. That's why I feel THIS time will be different than every other time. I feel like I've got this whole new outlook on life. I wish I would have felt this way a year ago, before it was time for kids or Florida, but at least I feel this way now. I'm ready for the change. I am proud of myself. That alone is a pretty amazing feeling.