It is hard when you make a vow and break it within the first week. My cousin Timmy, a young man of 33 years old passed away this last week. He and I grew up like siblings and this has been a difficult week to say the least. I have had a heavy heart and it has made my weight loss and gym time take a firm back seat. I gained almost 6 pounds in less than a week. I had Starbucks two and three times a day. I did not care about anything because grief had a firm grasp on my life. I am back to 274.9 pounds.
I spent today trying to stay within my calorie budget, but I had Starbucks at breakfast and because we haven't grocery shopped I ate out for lunch and plan to do the same for dinner. I won't make it to the gym this evening, since I'll be at the grocery store, but I'm hoping to get back at it on Thursday. It is hard because my aunt is back up to visit and staying at our house (because of the funeral).
I know that I have to do this for me. It's just hard to put it into perspective when I'm so broken hearted about all of this. All I really want to do is curl up under my covers and watch Harry Potter and sleep. Maybe I'll get to do that for a while tonight. Just stick in my headphones and watch it on my computer. I think it might be relaxing. I have had a very stressful day at work, which followed a very stressful few days off. I know that life is stressful. I understand that there are hard times, but why does it seem that I get it heaped on top of me, one thing after the other, and there is no reprieve? I just need a good month that is completely problem free!!
I hope that happens soon. I'm very overwhelmed at the moment. :(
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