When I was on my last vacation I did not take one photograph of myself, I was uncomfortable on every ride I went on, and there were things I couldn't do simply because of my weight. My weight makes me self-conscious, unhappy, and causes me to miss out on so many things in life. I want a baby. I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs without feeling like my lungs have collapsed. I am doing this so I will be able to enjoy life.
Here are a list of my most compelling reasons and motivations:
•A baby•I want my kids to be healthy, and I want to be a good role model•A better sex life•Going to HP World and Disney in February 2015•Be able to walk around at Disney and Universal and walk around without DYING!•Feeling better about myself/ Not being so self conscious•Enjoy the moments I have with my friends, instead of worrying about how fat I look in the pictures they are taking•Being able to keep up with everyone else
I am going to make a "Vision Board" and make it my computer background. I plan to use it to remind myself everyday WHY I am doing this.
[Pause]
Okay, created. See below. There will be a change in me. I am determined to become the person I want to be. It starts now. I will never see this weight again, I will never feel this way again, and I will be happy with who I am.
Photos in order from top to bottom, left to right: 1. Runsforcookies went from a size 24W (where I was not too long ago) to a size 4. 2. The seats at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter's Forbidden Journey. I could BARELY fit when we went on our honeymoon and I was 25 lbs lighter then. I don't have a clue how I'd get on them now... and those were the outer seats made for big people. 3. A map of Disney World... Going to be walking all of that in less than four months. 4. A map of Universal... walking all of that in less than four months too. 5. Matt and I at my Graduation. I hate how HUGE I feel, but worse than that is how UNCOMFORTABLE I was taking the picture. This was such a monumental occasion for me and I should have been so happy to take pictures, but because of my weight I just dread them. 6. Me at the start of this journey. 7. A candid shot of me at graduation. Even worse. I cringe when I look at it. 7. Runsforcookies before and after (she lost 125 pounds) 8. Skinny Jean Dreams before and after (she lost over 100 pounds). 9. A baby. At my weight, I don't think it's smart to get pregnant (if I'm even able) and I also know that it will definitely exacerbate my back condition. 10. This one is two-fold. The first and most important is that this is my husband and I on our wedding day. I love him with all of my heart and he is one of the main reasons I want (us both) to get healthy. I want to have a long, wonderful life with this man and I know if I stay on the course I've been on, I won't have one. Also, this is one of the only good pictures from our wedding. I actually don't have many pictures with him at all and we have been together for over seven years. One day, when I feel comfortable enough with myself to get photos taken, I want to ask my friend Jessica to take some professional pictures of the two of us. I would like to have some photos that I enjoy looking at instead of cringing away from.
There was one more pic that I didn't put on here because I wasn't able to find it, but the story behind the picture is that I was out with a group of friends who wanted a photo taken of us, so, of course, I obliged. When they texted me the picture afterwords, I thought I was going to die. I looked HUGE. I hate that. I want to enjoy the pictures that are taken with my friends. I want to capture those memories. I want to be able to look back on them and be happy.
I blogged all of this to say: Things will be different moving forward. I will be different. I am ready. So "Hold on to your butts" because here we go (that, my friends, would be a quote from Jurassic Park).
Xoxo,
Missy
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