Work was crazy. I came home exhausted but I still made dinner and stuck to my points values. I need to clean something kind of fierce, but I feel like it's going to get put off another few days.... one day I'll be on top of everything. I stayed on plan yesterday and today (I still plan to eat some frozen banana bites in dark chocolate for 2 points and some grapes after my walk). I'm anxious to see if I lose weight even though I feel like I'm eating a lot with all the fruit. If I don't, I'm going to ask my leader if I should be counting the fruit I'm eating. I guess we'll see at weigh in on Thursday.
Bentley is currently eating his puppy ice cream and I'm trying to let my food digest before going out to walk/run. I'm very tired, but all I have left to do when we get back is pay bills and hit the hay.
I've been pretty hungry today in spurts, right now (after dinner) I'm pretty full though. Here's kind of a little run down of hunger levels:
6:30am - Wake up - Sorta hungry
7:30am - Made smoothie, which I drank over the course of an hour and a half on my drive to work
10am - Snack time, ate a plum. Kinda hungry, not crazy hungry.
12pm - Ready for lunch. Ate my planned lunch and was feeling good after. Not stuffed, satisfied.
2pm - Famished. Trying to wait until 3pm because I know I won't be home until 6:30pm
3pm - DYING. Ate 1/2 cup of pistachios, still hungry after, but tolerable.
5pm - Famished again... now I have to drive home and can't eat ANYTHING until dinner is DONE
7:30pm - FINALLY eating dinner (2 Fajitas and 3/4 cup FF Refried Beans). VERY FULL.
8:23pm - Currently -- VERY FULL. Not sure how I'm going for a walk atm... trying to digest but feeling pretty awful.
I drank 101 ounces of water so far today, not bad, but I'd still like to get another 20 ounces or so in before bed.
Well I guess I better get going on that walk, Bentley is getting impatient.
xoxo,
Melissa
Monday, June 22, 2015
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Hands up for the Weekend
Well it's Sunday morning. Yesterday, Matt and I went out to dinner and had ice cream and went to the movies. I used up just THREE of my bonus points. I made it a point to always choose the healthiest options at each place we went. I didn't "cheat" and have soda or anything. I had the mini-ice cream (which I REALLY regretted later -- I'm lactose intolerant and not having milk for 2 weeks then eating ice cream caused me to be nauseous for like an hour and almost miss the movie).
Today we have a lot going on. I'm making the grocery list when I finish typing this blog and we have a day of shopping, cleaning, and food prep ahead of us. I've planned out my week in advance and don't plan to use any of my remaining Weekly Bonus points. I know they are there for me to use when I need them, but I want to keep that to a minimum if possible. My leader at Weight Watchers was saying I could set up my account to use "Activity Points" first and I think I may do that. I would like to eat what I earn instead of what I have given to me if I do want to go over.
I've also realized MyFitnessPal has a lot larger database when it comes to their food list. There are a lot of things missing from WW's (especially in the restaurant area).
Well I know today is a rather short one, but there's tons to do and I still gotta make the list so we can go to the grocery store.
xoxo,
Mel
Today we have a lot going on. I'm making the grocery list when I finish typing this blog and we have a day of shopping, cleaning, and food prep ahead of us. I've planned out my week in advance and don't plan to use any of my remaining Weekly Bonus points. I know they are there for me to use when I need them, but I want to keep that to a minimum if possible. My leader at Weight Watchers was saying I could set up my account to use "Activity Points" first and I think I may do that. I would like to eat what I earn instead of what I have given to me if I do want to go over.
I've also realized MyFitnessPal has a lot larger database when it comes to their food list. There are a lot of things missing from WW's (especially in the restaurant area).
Well I know today is a rather short one, but there's tons to do and I still gotta make the list so we can go to the grocery store.
xoxo,
Mel
Friday, June 19, 2015
Hesitant to Blog
So after many, many years of saying that I'm going to get on this weight loss and really change myself and my life (and sometimes sticking to it for a while), I've decided to start Weight Watchers. I'm not hopeful, or determined, but I've just decided that this is who I am now.
My entire life I have been able to get anything I wanted by setting goals and working my ass off until I reach them, but the weight loss has been the thing that has NEVER been attainable for me, not really. I have lost a little bit a few times, but never been where or who I want to be. Recently, I've noticed that I've become a quitter in all of my pursuits in life. I've become lazy and content to stay the person I am, even though I'm terribly unhappy. I have let my depression consume me and make me angry and bitter. It's hard to believe this is the person I have become. I think that part of it is that I am carrying an EXTRA PERSON around. I want to shed this weight because I think of it as the depression and stress and struggle living inside of me. If I can take it off, I will be happier, healthier, and enjoy my life.
I've started blogs like this so many times. I have tried and failed so many times. I have had the reasons to become healthy, but my laziness and love of eating have always won. It has trumped everything else. It has been my comfort, my reward, my relaxation, my cure for boredom, my happiness. It has also been my struggle, my shame, my depression, my pain, and my stress. I am in horrible shape to the point I can't walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for air, 125 pounds overweight, in excruciating pain to the point I can't bend over to pick things up off of the floor, and I have severe depression. I am 28 years old. How will I ever make it to 40? I can't even imagine.
I know, logically, I cannot continue to live my life the way I have the last 10 years, with the scale steadily climbing and me laying on the couch watching television. I have to make a change, for me, for my future. I want children. I couldn't even carry them during pregnancy at my current weight. I'd be on bedrest half way through without question.
So, Weight Watchers. I'm going to take this slow. I'm not going to crazy overwhelm myself. I'm going to stick to my points per day and become more active. I'm going to stop binging and using food as a crutch. I'm going to work on me. For me. For my family. For my future. I'm not going to look back on this time in 6 months and say "If only I would have stuck to it." In six months from now I'm going to look back and say "Look what I've done." I'm going to be proud of me.
I want to blog about it. I want to record my journey. I want to remember where I've come from and WHY I'm never going to be back here. I'm hesitant to blog, I'm hesitant to even tell people about Weight Watchers because of my many, many attempts and my many, many failures. But I'm trying to remember that this is about me. At the end of the day, no one will care if I fail, no one will even care that I tried, but I will. And this is for me.
xoxo,
Mel
My entire life I have been able to get anything I wanted by setting goals and working my ass off until I reach them, but the weight loss has been the thing that has NEVER been attainable for me, not really. I have lost a little bit a few times, but never been where or who I want to be. Recently, I've noticed that I've become a quitter in all of my pursuits in life. I've become lazy and content to stay the person I am, even though I'm terribly unhappy. I have let my depression consume me and make me angry and bitter. It's hard to believe this is the person I have become. I think that part of it is that I am carrying an EXTRA PERSON around. I want to shed this weight because I think of it as the depression and stress and struggle living inside of me. If I can take it off, I will be happier, healthier, and enjoy my life.
I've started blogs like this so many times. I have tried and failed so many times. I have had the reasons to become healthy, but my laziness and love of eating have always won. It has trumped everything else. It has been my comfort, my reward, my relaxation, my cure for boredom, my happiness. It has also been my struggle, my shame, my depression, my pain, and my stress. I am in horrible shape to the point I can't walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for air, 125 pounds overweight, in excruciating pain to the point I can't bend over to pick things up off of the floor, and I have severe depression. I am 28 years old. How will I ever make it to 40? I can't even imagine.
I know, logically, I cannot continue to live my life the way I have the last 10 years, with the scale steadily climbing and me laying on the couch watching television. I have to make a change, for me, for my future. I want children. I couldn't even carry them during pregnancy at my current weight. I'd be on bedrest half way through without question.
So, Weight Watchers. I'm going to take this slow. I'm not going to crazy overwhelm myself. I'm going to stick to my points per day and become more active. I'm going to stop binging and using food as a crutch. I'm going to work on me. For me. For my family. For my future. I'm not going to look back on this time in 6 months and say "If only I would have stuck to it." In six months from now I'm going to look back and say "Look what I've done." I'm going to be proud of me.
I want to blog about it. I want to record my journey. I want to remember where I've come from and WHY I'm never going to be back here. I'm hesitant to blog, I'm hesitant to even tell people about Weight Watchers because of my many, many attempts and my many, many failures. But I'm trying to remember that this is about me. At the end of the day, no one will care if I fail, no one will even care that I tried, but I will. And this is for me.
xoxo,
Mel
Friday, January 16, 2015
Challenge
It has been a difficult start to the new year to say the least. I was supposed to start a job on January 12th and it "fell through." I don't really want to get into the details, but I was depending on it and the fact that I now will not be working there has put me into a bit of a depression (bit really doesn't begin to describe it). I have literally ate my way through my feelings. The last two weeks alone I have been in such a downward spiral. Of course, this had to happen just when I was ready to get on track with working out, eating right, and getting healthy.
I decided that this shouldn't take away from my goals though. Matt and I talked tonight and we are going to get back on the figural horse. Monday we are BOTH starting the 21 Day Fit fitness program and we are going to start logging food on MyFitnessPal as well. I am going to spend the evening making next week's meal plan and go grocery shopping this weekend. I am hoping that because Matt seems so on board with everything it will make it easier for me to stay on track. Here's my UPDATED fitness board star goals:
My Healthy Choices Reward System
1 star for each completed 21 Day Fix Workout
1 star for completing 7 straight days of the 21 Day Fix Workout Routine
3 stars for completing the entire 21 Day Fix Workout Routine
2 stars for drinking 64 ounces of water or more per day
1 star for tracking my daily calories and staying at or below my limit
1 star for every 5 pounds lost
Harry Potter Candle when I reach 100 stars
$20 Lush Purchase when I reach 200 stars
Pedicure when I reach 300 stars
Massage when I reach 400 stars
Facial when I reach 500 stars
$75 Makeup purchase from Ulta/Sephora/Mac when I reach 600 stars
Tattoo when I reach 700 stars
It's just a bit different than what I posted before, but I figure I may as well keep the blog up to date. Well I'm going to get to work on our meal plan and shopping list so I can get to bed.
Here's to getting on track,
Mel <3
I decided that this shouldn't take away from my goals though. Matt and I talked tonight and we are going to get back on the figural horse. Monday we are BOTH starting the 21 Day Fit fitness program and we are going to start logging food on MyFitnessPal as well. I am going to spend the evening making next week's meal plan and go grocery shopping this weekend. I am hoping that because Matt seems so on board with everything it will make it easier for me to stay on track. Here's my UPDATED fitness board star goals:
My Healthy Choices Reward System
1 star for each completed 21 Day Fix Workout
1 star for completing 7 straight days of the 21 Day Fix Workout Routine
3 stars for completing the entire 21 Day Fix Workout Routine
2 stars for drinking 64 ounces of water or more per day
1 star for tracking my daily calories and staying at or below my limit
1 star for every 5 pounds lost
Harry Potter Candle when I reach 100 stars
$20 Lush Purchase when I reach 200 stars
Pedicure when I reach 300 stars
Massage when I reach 400 stars
Facial when I reach 500 stars
$75 Makeup purchase from Ulta/Sephora/Mac when I reach 600 stars
Tattoo when I reach 700 stars
It's just a bit different than what I posted before, but I figure I may as well keep the blog up to date. Well I'm going to get to work on our meal plan and shopping list so I can get to bed.
Here's to getting on track,
Mel <3
Friday, January 2, 2015
Goals, Ideas, and a schedule
Here are some of my goals and ideas for this month:
Once Upon a Time Workouts
I love Once Upon a Time, it is definitely one of my "guilty pleasure shows." I decided that if I'm going to watch it, instead of fast-forwarding through the commercials, each week I would use that time to get in a little workout. I'm already planning on doing walks/runs earlier in the day, so the fact that it's not a crazy difficult workout isn't a big deal. Here's my plan:
During each commercial break, do the following:
Well that's all I got for now. I am going to work on my Strength Training Schedule and my meal plan/shopping list for next week.
Melissa
- Log all meals and snacks in MyFitnessPal.
- Eat out only ONCE per week.
- Pack lunches in advance and keep them in brown bags in the refrigerator.
- Read Fast Food Nation (already downloaded).
- Try out Meatless Mondays.
- Plan meals and grocery lists every Sunday.
- Wear my Fitbit EVERY DAY.
- Weekly Once Upon a Time workouts (I'll detail this a little later in the blog).
- Log inches in addition to pounds (keep track in MFP).
- Meditate 5-10 minutes EVERY day!
- Start going to yoga again.
- Doing the Runs for Cookies Virtual 5k on January 25th.
Once Upon a Time Workouts
I love Once Upon a Time, it is definitely one of my "guilty pleasure shows." I decided that if I'm going to watch it, instead of fast-forwarding through the commercials, each week I would use that time to get in a little workout. I'm already planning on doing walks/runs earlier in the day, so the fact that it's not a crazy difficult workout isn't a big deal. Here's my plan:
During each commercial break, do the following:
- 10 Jumping Jacks
- 10 Crunches
- 10 Lunges (5 on each side)
- 10 Pushups
- 30-Second Plank
**EDIT: Unfortunately, I was under the impression that Once Upon a Time would be back the second week of January, and it will not return until MARCH 1ST. So this plan will be on hold until AFTER we get back from our Florida vacation.
Ideas for Meatless Mondays:
- Meatless Lasagna
- Homemade Pizza with Veggies
- Veggie Omelettes with Hash Browns and Toast
- Mac and Cheese with Grilled Veggie Skewers
- Veggie Fried Rice with egg
- Stuffed Baked Potatoes and Veggies
- Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup
Ideas on how to reach at least 64 ounces of water per day
- Drink ice water while cooking or before starting to eat any meal/snack
- Track H2o intake on MyFitnessPal app
- Find someone who wants to do a water challenge with me
- Download a reminder app
Meal Ideas
- Pesto Penne with Chicken
- Tostadas
- Stirfry
- Tacos
Fitness Schedule
- Monday: Walk/Run 1 mile and do 30 minutes of Cross/Strength Training
- Tuesday: Walk 3 miles
- Wednesday: Walk/Run 1 mile and do 30 minutes of Cross/Strength Training
- Thursday: Walk 3 miles
- Friday: Walk/Run 1 mile and do 30 minutes of Cross/Strength Training
- Saturday: One hour of Archery
- Sunday: Long walk (4 to 9 miles)
Well that's all I got for now. I am going to work on my Strength Training Schedule and my meal plan/shopping list for next week.
Melissa
Saturday, December 27, 2014
A New Year
Well another couple of months have went by and I have yet to really make a true effort in my weight loss. I have spent the last few months in a bit of a frenzy because I haven't been able to find a job. I finally (after four interviews) was offered the position at Kaplan. I start on January 12th. Finally getting things in order made me stop and really think about why weight loss is so imperative. I want so many things out of life and continuing to be unhealthy is not going to get any of them for me. The reasons just seem to be mounting and yet still I haven't been able to make the changes I know I desperately need to make. We are currently in Michigan visiting for Christmas, but I have put some plans in place for when we return home. On Monday, I'm going to our local gym to sign up for a membership there. I have a new reward system, which I will type up below and I am really ready to continue my weight loss journey. I have so many reasons and 30 is approaching so fast. I will be in Florida in a little less than two months where I'll be walking approximately 9 miles a day for 6 straight days. We will be starting to try for a baby once we get home from that and with my current weight and just the way my body feels pregnancy will be difficult, if not impossible. I know that we probably won't get pregnant right away or anything, so I'll still have time to work on weight loss. I want to be as healthy as possible during my pregnancy so there's no reason not to start that now. I have never been able to stick with anything before, but I'm starting to grasp the concept of time and I think that is giving me the kick I needed. This new reward system is pretty great too.
I am going to do a "star chart." I purchased a black poster board, some markers and some star stickers and I made a list of all of the things I can do to earn a star. Then I made a list of rewards I can get when I reach x number of stars (it's basically a reward for every 100 stars I earn). I have the potential to earn about 27 stars a week, which means I can get a reward about every month (IF I stick to the program). I didn't want to make the rewards about the pounds I lost, but instead I wanted to focus on making healthier choices. I did throw in that I'll get a star for every 5 pounds I lose though. So here is my new plan and we will see how things work:)
My Healthy Choices Reward System
1 star for a 30+ minute workout
1 star for working out 4+ times in one week
1 star for walking outside in temperatures below 20 or above 80
2 stars for drinking 64 ounces of water or more per day
1 star for tracking my daily calories and staying at or below my limit
1 star for every 5 pounds lost
Harry Potter Candle when I reach 100 stars
$20 Lush Purchase when I reach 200 stars
Pedicure when I reach 300 stars
Massage when I reach 400 stars
Facial when I reach 500 stars
$75 Makeup purchase from Ulta/Sephora/Mac when I reach 600 stars
Tattoo when I reach 700 stars
I know I have said it before, but things feel different this time. I feel as though I'm going to make this happen. The things I really want in life seem to be hinging on me getting healthy and I am starting to run out of time. The good thing about this system is that I can still keep to it if I do get pregnant (obviously I would take out some of the star earning choices, like the star for weight loss and the walking outside), but its great to know I don't have to just stop doing it if I get pregnant. Well I hope everyone has a wonderful day! :)
xoxo,
Melissa
Friday, October 31, 2014
The Why
I have spent the majority of this evening crying. I was texting Matt for a while and the basic overview is that I'm so tired of saying and not doing. I have lost all determination and motivation. I have forgotten the WHY behind the weight loss and have been drowning my depression in chocolate, cheese, and soda. I have pasted below, a portion of the blog I wrote on April 23rd of this year to remind myself of the WHY and help with my DECISION to become DETERMINED again.
I am going to make a "Vision Board" and make it my computer background. I plan to use it to remind myself everyday WHY I am doing this.
[Pause]
Okay, created. See below. There will be a change in me. I am determined to become the person I want to be. It starts now. I will never see this weight again, I will never feel this way again, and I will be happy with who I am.
Photos in order from top to bottom, left to right: 1. Runsforcookies went from a size 24W (where I was not too long ago) to a size 4. 2. The seats at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter's Forbidden Journey. I could BARELY fit when we went on our honeymoon and I was 25 lbs lighter then. I don't have a clue how I'd get on them now... and those were the outer seats made for big people. 3. A map of Disney World... Going to be walking all of that in less than four months. 4. A map of Universal... walking all of that in less than four months too. 5. Matt and I at my Graduation. I hate how HUGE I feel, but worse than that is how UNCOMFORTABLE I was taking the picture. This was such a monumental occasion for me and I should have been so happy to take pictures, but because of my weight I just dread them. 6. Me at the start of this journey. 7. A candid shot of me at graduation. Even worse. I cringe when I look at it. 7. Runsforcookies before and after (she lost 125 pounds) 8. Skinny Jean Dreams before and after (she lost over 100 pounds). 9. A baby. At my weight, I don't think it's smart to get pregnant (if I'm even able) and I also know that it will definitely exacerbate my back condition. 10. This one is two-fold. The first and most important is that this is my husband and I on our wedding day. I love him with all of my heart and he is one of the main reasons I want (us both) to get healthy. I want to have a long, wonderful life with this man and I know if I stay on the course I've been on, I won't have one. Also, this is one of the only good pictures from our wedding. I actually don't have many pictures with him at all and we have been together for over seven years. One day, when I feel comfortable enough with myself to get photos taken, I want to ask my friend Jessica to take some professional pictures of the two of us. I would like to have some photos that I enjoy looking at instead of cringing away from.
There was one more pic that I didn't put on here because I wasn't able to find it, but the story behind the picture is that I was out with a group of friends who wanted a photo taken of us, so, of course, I obliged. When they texted me the picture afterwords, I thought I was going to die. I looked HUGE. I hate that. I want to enjoy the pictures that are taken with my friends. I want to capture those memories. I want to be able to look back on them and be happy.
I blogged all of this to say: Things will be different moving forward. I will be different. I am ready. So "Hold on to your butts" because here we go (that, my friends, would be a quote from Jurassic Park).
Xoxo,
Missy
When I was on my last vacation I did not take one photograph of myself, I was uncomfortable on every ride I went on, and there were things I couldn't do simply because of my weight. My weight makes me self-conscious, unhappy, and causes me to miss out on so many things in life. I want a baby. I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs without feeling like my lungs have collapsed. I am doing this so I will be able to enjoy life.
Here are a list of my most compelling reasons and motivations:
•A baby•I want my kids to be healthy, and I want to be a good role model•A better sex life•Going to HP World and Disney in February 2015•Be able to walk around at Disney and Universal and walk around without DYING!•Feeling better about myself/ Not being so self conscious•Enjoy the moments I have with my friends, instead of worrying about how fat I look in the pictures they are taking•Being able to keep up with everyone else
I am going to make a "Vision Board" and make it my computer background. I plan to use it to remind myself everyday WHY I am doing this.
[Pause]
Okay, created. See below. There will be a change in me. I am determined to become the person I want to be. It starts now. I will never see this weight again, I will never feel this way again, and I will be happy with who I am.
Photos in order from top to bottom, left to right: 1. Runsforcookies went from a size 24W (where I was not too long ago) to a size 4. 2. The seats at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter's Forbidden Journey. I could BARELY fit when we went on our honeymoon and I was 25 lbs lighter then. I don't have a clue how I'd get on them now... and those were the outer seats made for big people. 3. A map of Disney World... Going to be walking all of that in less than four months. 4. A map of Universal... walking all of that in less than four months too. 5. Matt and I at my Graduation. I hate how HUGE I feel, but worse than that is how UNCOMFORTABLE I was taking the picture. This was such a monumental occasion for me and I should have been so happy to take pictures, but because of my weight I just dread them. 6. Me at the start of this journey. 7. A candid shot of me at graduation. Even worse. I cringe when I look at it. 7. Runsforcookies before and after (she lost 125 pounds) 8. Skinny Jean Dreams before and after (she lost over 100 pounds). 9. A baby. At my weight, I don't think it's smart to get pregnant (if I'm even able) and I also know that it will definitely exacerbate my back condition. 10. This one is two-fold. The first and most important is that this is my husband and I on our wedding day. I love him with all of my heart and he is one of the main reasons I want (us both) to get healthy. I want to have a long, wonderful life with this man and I know if I stay on the course I've been on, I won't have one. Also, this is one of the only good pictures from our wedding. I actually don't have many pictures with him at all and we have been together for over seven years. One day, when I feel comfortable enough with myself to get photos taken, I want to ask my friend Jessica to take some professional pictures of the two of us. I would like to have some photos that I enjoy looking at instead of cringing away from.
There was one more pic that I didn't put on here because I wasn't able to find it, but the story behind the picture is that I was out with a group of friends who wanted a photo taken of us, so, of course, I obliged. When they texted me the picture afterwords, I thought I was going to die. I looked HUGE. I hate that. I want to enjoy the pictures that are taken with my friends. I want to capture those memories. I want to be able to look back on them and be happy.
I blogged all of this to say: Things will be different moving forward. I will be different. I am ready. So "Hold on to your butts" because here we go (that, my friends, would be a quote from Jurassic Park).
Xoxo,
Missy
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